When you feel compelled to bare your soul, it can be a little intimidating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a notorious oversharer, but it seems different when your story is floating around the Internet and can never truly disappear. Sharing my experiences where I know the secrets are safe, no problem. Purposely writing down this information where my mother and dozens of others may read, terrifying.
This is a blog based on honesty, not to live in regret but explore how every decision led me to where I am now. I am flawed and I’ve made mistakes I wish I could take back, but all I can do is move on and hopefully help others who’ve felt like me.
Sometimes we got lost in a season, trying to be this imagined version of ourselves. Sometimes we meet someone and they seem great and it doesn’t work out and we’re broken. Sometimes we take things too far. Sometimes we’re lost and alone in the world.
Dear readers, please know I am here for you. I have been there. I am there.
As a Christian, I’ve read so many cookie cutter articles about the struggles of temptation and struggle, but rarely do they feature people I relate to. I’m not nearly as perfect as those people, able to shut down a situation before it escalates. I am a human and more often than not, I fall short.
The title of this site comes from explanation for every decision, good and bad. Prone to impulsiveness, I tend to look at the aftermath of my choice and think, “well it seemed like a good idea at the time.” I become so lost in moments that I can’t see past to what awaits. While this can be beautiful, more often than not it leads to pain.
These are stories I carry with me, that remind me of who I was and how I needed that person to get me here. Not every post is based on a bad choice; sometimes I will just ramble aimlessly when I need to get something off my chest. This is best illustrated by all the posts made prior to this, pulled from my Tumblr in an effort to provide some exposition to Chelsea as she grew up.
The more I think about what I have to say and the posts I could write, the less I think this is a good idea, but for once my contradictory impulse is wrong. I am scared, reader. Scared to be so honest, scared of what others will say and think, scared to try something that may fail. But I’m doing it anyway.
God calls me to be strong and courageous, so here I am. I will not fear and will not be discouraged. I am doing this for a reason, and it is for you, whoever you are.