Trolling, part 1

It’s National Coffee Day which is great if you like it and can score a free cup of joe. If you’re like me, it means another day I don’t get free tea. I started seeing all these mugshots and shout outs to coffee and I felt a little excluded. 

Like a true millennial, I grabbed my tea mug, stains and all and decided to share my excellent shot on the ‘Gram. While I planned to be snarky no matter what, a new thought hit me: trolling. 

I was mainly going to focus on the nastiness of coffee and my mug, but inspiration hit and instead I made it a rant about how I wouldn’t put anything so toxic into my temple and I only drink tea, and followed with some choice hashtags like vegan, fitspo and no preservatives. 

Instagram did not disappoint. 

Within a minute of posting, I had three likes from accounts that don’t follow me and use “vegan” or “healthy” in their description. Excellent. 

As you can see in the photo, we’re up to the magical 11 and only one is from a friend. I even hashtagged sarcasm at the end but it didn’t deter the people for the ethical treatment of animals. 

Some of my friends called out the fact that I literally consume anything, but I argued with how it’s all locally sourced and vegan organic. I can’t break character. That’s how you fail at trolling. 

To clear things up, I posted a selfie later with my sister where we’re stuffing Taco Bell into our faces at the movies because that’s what we like to do. 

I have a balance between the good and bad because I firmly believe life is too short to avoid sugar completely. When you die will you be happy you never ate a donut? I don’t think you can take that six pack to Heaven. 

It’s good to be healthy and take care of yourself, but life is for real too short to only eat chicken and broccoli. No gains are worth the sacrifice. Yes, God gave us food for sustenance but he also made it good. While that isn’t an excuse to constantly binge, it’s certainly a reason to enjoy. 

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